In the Winds


Unemployed Sparrows
December 18, 2008, 2:50 pm
Filed under: Faith, Korea

I am an over-reactor.

And I am married, blissfully, to an under-reactor who so often loves me down from the trees I tangle myself in.

I sigh and huff and drum my fingers when the banker working with us stops for a 6-minute phone conversation. My shoulders slump over the keyboard as the currency exchange rate’s fluctuations dictate my emotional posture. I imagine myself delivering a well-articulated speech, filled with strong statements supported by accessible anecdotes,  in the middle of our staff room, condemning the failures of private English institutions in Korea. I stare angrily at drivers who seem to have either forgotten or never learned the meaning of a crosswalk. I grind my teeth at night over e-ticket confirmations that never come.

And for what?

All of the erroneous entitlement-turned-annoyance-frustration-self-righteous indignation that works its way deeply into the muscles and tissues of my shoulder blades – what good can it possibly do?

How many times will I learn that He provides for unemployed sparrows, who neither toil nor sigh nor slump their shoulders? How many times will I learn that this life and its exchange rates will be burned like grass tomorrow? That I, at the center of my miniscule universe, am no more than a breath. Oh to remember the Carpenter whose life was one interruption after another from blind people, often groping after the wrong things…asking for sight instead of SIGHT, for water instead of WATER.

-liz

Advertisements

7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

It was great talking with you guys last night… well at least it was last night for us. I hope you had a relaxing Saturday and figured out some fun things to do in the Philippines.

In regards to this post Liz, I don’t really know what to say about it other than it’s very well written.

Comment by Darren Johnson

it is super

Comment by howard matson

Merry Christmas. We miss seeing you. We drove by “your house” the other day and it made me think to pray for you. I hope all is well.

Tanya

Comment by Tanya Rustad

Liz, thank you for sharing this. nicely articulated. a humbling reminder.
sure beats a string around a finger! which I often feel I need. Maybe I will just re-read this every time my “entitlement muscle” flexes its ugly self.

Comment by Drew

The counselor in me is curious to ask what benefit you are getting from this frustration, not in the rhetorical way in which you are asking that assumes that it is frivolous and needs to be done away with, but to ask non judgmentally, what is the pay-off?

I miss you guys and love you both.

Shalom

Comment by Billy Shaw

hey eric and liz,
greetings from cold mpls. i finally dug out the email with your blog, and hope to check in! Liz, your post was so insightful and articulate– and totally resonates with this over-reactor! I’ve been reading Brother Lawrence– the Presence of God– very recommended. Many blessings! cy

Comment by Christine Yaeger

Elizabeth, first of all thank you for your recent visit to our virtual Storks’ Nest – you sure know how to gladden the heart of a freshly minted blogger! What I’ve wanted to say for a while now in response to your reflection is that your restlessness is not all bad – and I hope I don’t say this just because I often share it! Without seeker types like you, the world would be ruled by bureaucrats, educational systems would be perennially broken, and the drivers of this world would never have to learn the definition of a crosswalk – you are the type that changes the world, while both our husbands are the dwelling types that take time to enjoy it! It’s the balance of both that makes for a whole and healthy life – which is perhaps part of why we enjoy your duo so much! 🙂

Comment by Marta




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: